Let's not pretend like shower nachos are actually a thing, although I hear shower pizza is making a strong come back.
Roses are red Violets are blue It's time for a shower beer. @Shakoolie— JoeyJoeJoeJrShabadoo (@jjshabadoo) July 20, 2015
This is poetry at its finest!
Don't ya love shower beer nation?
Shower beer Thursdays are the best Thursdays.
Why you might ask?
Because tomorrow is Friday, and that's the end of the work week, so why not enjoy your 3 day weekend.
Tonight I went with a Fat Tire - the amber ales of all amber ales. For some reason Fat Tire has always held a special place in my heart, it's a go to when I'm not feeling adventurous. It's smooth and goes great in the shower, although its a bit darker so make sure it's plenty cold before firing up the party.
Showerbeerability: 3.7 out of 5
*The "Showerbeerability Scale" is officially recognized by NASA
One of our followers recently tweeted an ancient Shakoolie still holding strong in the wild. Literally, this thing has been rockin' shower beers like a beast for 3 years long, and to that we say - shower beer on!
#holdingstrong #showerbeeron #Shakoolie
Guess what Earthlings - it's time to embrace the shower beer! (and in no way is that a bad thing...)
Recently this Buzzefeed post went viral with over 500k views (and counting). We noticed Shakoolie got a little feature in the article, so we decided to share it here also. It's good to see the shower beer world start hitting the mainstream - keeps preaching to the masses shower beer enthusiast!
According to our sales, California absolutely crushes the most shower beers!
Just a special thanks for being awesome California. Even in a drought, you guys stay hydrated and we can respect that.
It's my favorite time of the week - Shower Beer Thursdays!
One might ask, what is Shower Beer Thursdays? Well my friends - it's a time to reflect on the work week, then remember tomorrow is Friday, and let the weekend begin.
In other words, have a freaking beer because its pretty much Friday (pseudo work days anyways, amirite?).
This week I went with the Left Hand Brewing Co. Sawtooth Nitro.
My thoughts? Meh.
It's pretty grassy. It's an ESB (strong bitter) which isn't my favorite in the first place. Something falls flat with me on the ESB style and this one in particular. But hey, the shower was hot, and the beer was ice cold. Which always helps. Imo a Budweiser would have been better in the shower - but I still have much love for Left Hand's other beers!
Showerbeerability*: 2.6 out of 5
*The new "Showerbeerability Scale" has officially been adapted by NASA
One of our Twitter followers recently decided to use her Shakoolie to enjoy an ice cold cocktail in the shower.
Our response? GAME ON!
This was our response:
It began with the forging of the great beers. Three were given to the Seniors, wisest and oldest of all beings. Seven to the College-Lords, great drinkers and partygoers of the frat halls; and nine, nine beers were gifted to the race of freshmen, who above all else desire power. For within these beers was bound the ultimate liquid and the ingredients to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another beer was made.
Deep in the colleges of Mordor, in the dormitory of College Doom, the Party Lord Sauron created a master beer, and into this beer, he poured his favorite flavors, his intoxication and his will to dominate all college life…One beer to rule them all.
Ever arranged a party? If not, we want you to know that it’s not easy. With a variety of beer available, choosing the right beer can be, well, tough. Fortunately, we’re going to make it easy for you. Grab a 6-pack of beer and read on because we’re going to show you how to choose the right beer and become the Lord of the Parties.
Did someone tell you to not be stingy and not waste money on beer? Tell them to go back to drinking milk! When it comes to beer, money is never an issue! Can I get an amen? But dude, that doesn’t mean you throw you savings down the line - not cool. Remember, you want to be Lord of the Parties, not Lord of the party, so save your money when you can. Once you have counted your money, ask yourself whether you can buy an almighty keg or a few measly 6-packs. If you have enough silver coins to buy a keg ($60+ for a decent keg), go for it - your fellowship will thank you for it. If you have $20 or so, buy 5 or 6 6-packs and you’re golden!
If it’s Christmas, be merry and choose Christmas beers. You can find them easily and they will probably be on sale everywhere. If it’s St. Patrick’s day, grab a few Irish beers or grab a keg and make your own “green beer” with blue food dye. There’s definitely going to be a pot of gold on the end of that rainbow! Confused? Let me make it clear. Choose a beer that is in season and you’re golden! You will always get more bang for your buck.
Every single question tells you about what beer you should buy for your fellowship. Since half of you may not understand, here is an example. My fellowship has 9 hobbits who just want glorious beer - any kind. If so, I may choose cheap pale ale that will work wonders to get them drunk like they were still in the shire. If my fellowship “accidently” invited the entire kingdom of men, you’re going to need a keg or 2. I know, Hobbits, right?
These 3 questions are very important. Not only because we said so but because they can either make or break a party. Imagine ordering a keg of local ale for dwarves who pretend to be elves who love imported beer. It’s not a party that’s going to end well. Keep these 3 questions in mind and you will be able to lead your fellowship into glorious parties and become the Lord of the Parties. If you have ever hosted parties before, grab a beer and let us know how it went, what made you choose the beer you had and let us know what beer vanished before morning.
My fellow beer drinkers, you are not alone in this world. Like you, there are millions of gifted beer drinkers who know the art of downing a cold one. If you are gifted at guzzling beer…
Welcome to Shakoolie’s School for Gifted Beer Drinkers!
Today, we are going to teach you the art of drinking beer; Shakoolie style! Without further ado, your teacher, Professor B.
Love drinking a frosty beer in the shower? Hate getting your favorite beer wet? So do we! Like wolverine, we never let that stop us so let nothing stop you, not even water!
Grab a Shakoolie my fellow gifted beer drinkers!
That shower koozie is going to help you not only drink that sucker down, it’s going to let you wash your abs down as well. Set it on the wall, place the beer in and drink beer like a Wolverine boss.
With so much to “see” and do, Cyclops gets tired a lot. Not that he’s big or anything but rivaling Wolverine can get tiring. But, if there is one thing that Cyclops knows how to do, it’s power through the day…power beer that is! He knows that there is nothing like a cold power beer to help you get though the day!
So, the next time you feel tired, open the fridge, grab a power beer and guzzle that can down and get ready to whoop ass all over again!
Magneto is a legend when it comes to levitating things. Other than his enemies, guns, the Golden Gate Bridge, do you know what the man loves to levitate? Beer! For him, gone are the days when he had to lift a beer in order to drink it.
Ok, we know that you can’t levitate a beer but you know what can? A beer hat!
If you’re watching your favorite movie, use the powers of the almighty beer hat and drink without ever having to lift up a beer ever again. I know, it brings a tear to my eye too.
Our own Iceman knows that nothing ruins beer more than heat. That’s why he dedicates his powers to keeping it cool - the beer that is!
If you’re drinking a beer - power, breakfast, shower, night or game beer - make sure it’s ice cold. What if it isn’t?
Don’t drink it!
If you drink it, we will expel you from the school for gifted beer drinkers!
Beast knows that to truly win in battle, you need to unleash the animal within. If you’re at a party, we expect you to live by his example and unleash the animal within.
Find the nearest keg, pour yourself a frosty and down it fast! Why? Because if you’re slow, the keg will be empty before you get your next cup!
OK, so he isn’t part of the X-men but you have to love that guy, right? He’s really gifted.
Think about it…The juggernaut is known for many things, killing humans, pummeling everything in his way and smashing through walls. Do you know what else he’s famous for? Being an artist at beer guzzling!
This gifted beer drinker can smash through beer after beer like there was no tomorrow and we expect no less from our other gifted beer drinkers!
The next time you’re at a party:
1. Line the cups up
2. Open the keg’s tap
3. Let the golden liquid flow
4. Yell “I’m the Juggernaut B****”
5. Smash your way through all the cups!
Want to go harder? Do the same thing, but in the shower. Line up your shower with Shakoolie mugs, fill them in with cans of your favorite beer and smash through your shower with shower beer!
In this world, you are either a gifted beer drinker or you are not. At Shakoolie’s School for Gifted Beer Drinkers, we help the gifted hone their drinking skills and enjoy beer like never before.
If you are a gifted beer drinker, we’d like to know what your super beer drinking powers are. Let us know in the comments below! If you don’t know yet, drink another beer, you may awaken your inner gift.
Like that guy said, “When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.” That’s the “responsible adult” thing right? Wrong! Screw lemonade, just like, give me a beer, man!
Yeah that’s right, and especially when I’m having an epically crappy day (and I don’t mean having a bad hair day either). I mean the kind of day when even the best thought out schemes of men and mice seem to go ass-ways and you get the feeling of your life being utterly de-f’n-railed.
Like many, I have moved on mentally from sitting in protest with a sign which reads "I’m Pissed Off” - not that I’m not pissed off, and not that high-visibility activism doesn't serve its purpose, it’s just that throwing tantrums is not my style. Besides, I’m in college and just don’t have the time.
If you just happened to be wondering how to loosen your train of thought, here’s what you do to bring some Zen back into your life.... A slippery tub, a steady stream of warm water, and limited room makes the shower an ideal place to get a chock full of good karma. The effectiveness of which is two-fold when beer is added to the equation.
This deceptively simple technique of re-arranging the mental furniture is far better than doing hard drugs or abusing soft drugs, which will inevitably push you into a mucky pond that is devoid of clarity. And while it’s fine to take a holiday there sometimes, (or, so I’m told), you really wouldn't want to live there. At best, being in that sort of limp state will only make you incapable of grasping hold of your thoughts properly. It will almost certainly lead you to drop those thoughts on the floor, tread on them while you try to grab hold and in most cases, will even lead you to throw up on them in the process.
Besides there’s always a time to march neath a banner like other socially conscious amigos, but mostly, changing the world, or your own sorry-state is all about low-key contemplation and making conscientious choices. The former can be achieved in the shower (with a cold beer), the latter, well, just stop scratching your nads and get off the damn sofa (loaf and learn, man!) So, fret not, for the golden plane, which is your life isn’t going to crash into the goddamn mountain any time soon. In the end, college life is all about strikes and gutters, and getting your rug peed on. When your plans seem to have come to a grinding halt like a stone in a friggin riverbed, you can tell the lemons to go fuck themselves, get a beer, and chug that beer down…in the shower.