Learn the Art of Drinking Beer at Shakoolie’s School for Gifted Beer Drinkers
My fellow beer drinkers, you are not alone in this world. Like you, there are millions of gifted beer drinkers who know the art of downing a cold one. If you are gifted at guzzling beer…
Welcome to Shakoolie’s School for Gifted Beer Drinkers!
Today, we are going to teach you the art of drinking beer; Shakoolie style! Without further ado, your teacher, Professor B.
Drinking in the Shower like Wolverine
Love drinking a frosty beer in the shower? Hate getting your favorite beer wet? So do we! Like wolverine, we never let that stop us so let nothing stop you, not even water!
Grab a Shakoolie my fellow gifted beer drinkers!
That shower koozie is going to help you not only drink that sucker down, it’s going to let you wash your abs down as well. Set it on the wall, place the beer in and drink beer like a Wolverine boss.
Drinking off Fatigue like Cyclops
With so much to “see” and do, Cyclops gets tired a lot. Not that he’s big or anything but rivaling Wolverine can get tiring. But, if there is one thing that Cyclops knows how to do, it’s power through the day…power beer that is! He knows that there is nothing like a cold power beer to help you get though the day!
So, the next time you feel tired, open the fridge, grab a power beer and guzzle that can down and get ready to whoop ass all over again!
Drink without Holding a Beer like Magneto
Magneto is a legend when it comes to levitating things. Other than his enemies, guns, the Golden Gate Bridge, do you know what the man loves to levitate? Beer! For him, gone are the days when he had to lift a beer in order to drink it.
Ok, we know that you can’t levitate a beer but you know what can? A beer hat!
If you’re watching your favorite movie, use the powers of the almighty beer hat and drink without ever having to lift up a beer ever again. I know, it brings a tear to my eye too.
Drink only an Ice Cold Beer like Iceman
Our own Iceman knows that nothing ruins beer more than heat. That’s why he dedicates his powers to keeping it cool - the beer that is!
If you’re drinking a beer - power, breakfast, shower, night or game beer - make sure it’s ice cold. What if it isn’t?
Don’t drink it!
If you drink it, we will expel you from the school for gifted beer drinkers!
Drink at a Party like Beast
Beast knows that to truly win in battle, you need to unleash the animal within. If you’re at a party, we expect you to live by his example and unleash the animal within.
Find the nearest keg, pour yourself a frosty and down it fast! Why? Because if you’re slow, the keg will be empty before you get your next cup!
Drink like there was no tomorrow like The Juggernaut
OK, so he isn’t part of the X-men but you have to love that guy, right? He’s really gifted.
Think about it…The juggernaut is known for many things, killing humans, pummeling everything in his way and smashing through walls. Do you know what else he’s famous for? Being an artist at beer guzzling!
This gifted beer drinker can smash through beer after beer like there was no tomorrow and we expect no less from our other gifted beer drinkers!
The next time you’re at a party:
1. Line the cups up
2. Open the keg’s tap
3. Let the golden liquid flow
4. Yell “I’m the Juggernaut B****”
5. Smash your way through all the cups!
Want to go harder? Do the same thing, but in the shower. Line up your shower with Shakoolie mugs, fill them in with cans of your favorite beer and smash through your shower with shower beer!
In this world, you are either a gifted beer drinker or you are not. At Shakoolie’s School for Gifted Beer Drinkers, we help the gifted hone their drinking skills and enjoy beer like never before.
If you are a gifted beer drinker, we’d like to know what your super beer drinking powers are. Let us know in the comments below! If you don’t know yet, drink another beer, you may awaken your inner gift.