'Murican Scientists Prove Beer Koozies Keep Beer Colder, For Longer!

What a beautiful country we live in, right? Now I've known for years beer koozies keep your beer colder for longer (especially in a hot shower). But leave it to American Scientists to actually prove my crack-brained theories on drinking beer. As matter of fact, earlier this year scientists at the University of Washington conducted a study to confirm that beer koozies really do work. But not in the way you would think, and here's why...

It's not about insulation son

When I imagine how a koozie works I think insulation. Ya know, like that cool spray shit they put in houses. But according to the study, that's not the case:

"It turns out that in sultry weather, condensation on the outside of a canned beverage doesn't just make it slippery. Those drops can provide more heat than the surrounding air, meaning your drink would warm more than twice as much in humid weather compared to in dry heat. "

In reality, it's actually the condensation on the outside of the can that traps mad amounts of heat. So all a koozie actually does is wick away condensation keeping your beer bad ass cold. It's like Under Armour for your beer!

Brilliant, huh?

No? Not so much?

Well shit...I was impressed.

Truth is all you probably care about is drinking beer anyways. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's good to know the world you live in.

Ahhhh to hell with science...

Here's to koozies keeping beer cold and bad decisions!