22 Famous Beer Quotes You've Probably Never Heard Before

credit: Stephanie Y Okay, okay, okay... Maybe you've heard just a few of these famous beer quotes before. But that doesn't take away from their awesomeness. I mean think about it, famous people enjoy drinking beer just like you and me! So without rambling on, here's 22 famous beer quotes you probably never might have heard before: ________________________________________________________________________

1. Frank Zappa, musician


“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.” 

― Frank Zappa 


2. Al Bundy, Married With Children

"Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer." ― Al Bundy ________________________________________________________________________

3. Doug Coughlin, Cocktail

"I don't care how liberated this world becomes, a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume, and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not. " 
― Doug Coughlin ________________________________________________________________________

4. John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough

"No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer." ― John Churchill ________________________________________________________________________

5. George Gobel, comedian

"My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago." ― George Gobel ________________________________________________________________________

6. Drew Carey, comedian

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." ― Drew Carey ________________________________________________________________________

7. Chelsea Handler, comedian

“I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.”  ― Chelsea Handler ________________________________________________________________________

8. Jack Handey, writer

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."                                       ― Jack Handey ________________________________________________________________________

9. Cliff Clavin, Cheers

"The human brain works that way too. It only operates as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."                                     ― Cliff Clavin  ________________________________________________________________________

10. George Best, Northern Irish Pro Football Player

"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars - the rest I just squandered." ― George Best ________________________________________________________________________

11. Homer Simpson, The Simpsons 

"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer." ― Homer Simpson ________________________________________________________________________

12. Humphrey Bogart, actor

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."  Humphrey Bogart ________________________________________________________________________

13. Brian Burke, NHL Hockey Exec

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let‘s all get drunk and go to heaven!”  Brian Burke ________________________________________________________________________

14. Dave Barry, author


"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." 

― Dave Barry ________________________________________________________________________

15. Jimmy Buffet, musician

"Give me oysters and beer, for dinner every day of the year, and I'll be fine..." ― Jimmy Buffett ________________________________________________________________________

16. Tom Robbins, author

“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.”  ― Tom Robbins ________________________________________________________________________

17. Willie Nelson, musician

“There are more old drunks than there are old doctors.”  ― Willie Nelson ________________________________________________________________________

18. Denis Leary, actor

“All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.”  ― Denis Leary ________________________________________________________________________

19. Abraham Lincoln, United States President

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.”  ― Abraham Lincoln ________________________________________________________________________

20. Stephen King, author

“I work until beer o’clock.”  ― Stephen King ________________________________________________________________________

21. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer

"I’m allergic to grass. Hey, it could be worse. I could be allergic to beer." ― Greg Norman ________________________________________________________________________

22. Queen Victoria, (well, she was a Queen)

"Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them." — Queen Victoria ________________________________________________________________________